I have a new job.
It is awesome.
I am a bartender at a bar that is FOUR BLOCKS AWAY.
There is ONLY ONE KIND OF BEER.
There is NO DEBIT MACHINE.
THERE IS A MECHANICAL BULL.
AND I GET TO DANCE ON THE BAR.
As a feminist, one might suggest that I object to having to jump up on a bar and two step during the intermission of the best game you can name, but as a ham, entertainer and exhibitionist I could not be more thrilled to Coyote-Ugly my ass to a debt-free lifestyle of nice shoes, expensive cheese and myriad air miles.
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